wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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