He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
