I accidentally had phone sex last night
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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