her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
