I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The air was thick with penises
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize