Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish i was in the wii world.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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