I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
