if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
