if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize