Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
