Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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