So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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