Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Randomize
