where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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