dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
