A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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