May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
