The panties match.
I'll be right there.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
