Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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