Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Only a mothe r could love this liver
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
