Im at strip club and am horny
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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