I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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