Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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