I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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