This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize