I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Please, let me fuck your mom
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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