he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
True strength comes from lack of pants
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
