...so i touched it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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