Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
