What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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