she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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