biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
