I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
