Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The Olympian is in my bed
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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