It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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