her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
