i think my mom watched the whole time
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
