ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
