my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
