If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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