Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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