ADVERTISEMENT

• (434): View more from Virginia

  u cheatin on me?

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  if i did i would try to upgrade babe.

  Fav 4 1128 1434

  share tweet
  

• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.

  Fav 46 1381 5163

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind

  Fav 20 1024 6526

  share tweet
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.

  Fav 32 2033 7407

  share tweet
  

• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..

  Fav 13 3748 1351

  share tweet
  

• (309): View more from Illinois

  I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.

  Fav 8 3886 1089

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways

  Fav 0 1603 958

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits

  Fav 8 1252 865

  share tweet
  

• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.

  Fav 7 2297 923

  share tweet
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial

  Fav 16 1957 787

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  I think that's mostly how we became friends.

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.

  Fav 9 2084 742

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (904): View more from Florida

  I want your cock.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd

  Fav 11 1184 768

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can only hope to be on your level one day.

  Fav 1 1065 621

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser

  Fav 5 469 573

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (312): View more from Illinois

  I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi

  Fav 1 76 20

  share tweet
  

Randomize