You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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