I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
