so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
