I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
