pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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