I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
