You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
