Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize