The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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