Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
