Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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