Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
