Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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