Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
