i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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