he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize