she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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