I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
