no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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