hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The struggles of a small town man whore
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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